Fundraiser For Johnathan’s Billboard

Please consider a donation to Learn The Risk for a billboard featuring my son Johnathan Wurz. It will be placed in Syracuse, NY. I have been working with some beautiful people who are assisting in making this a reality. Although the final billboard has not been designed, it will look something like this. It’s being designed and implemented with the help of Brandy Vaughan from Learn The Risk and many other angels in our community.

This is the proof from a banner NYVAR and those wonderful people I previously mentioned are placing on Route 81 on a haywagon at the end of the month. I will provide the exact location details when I receive them.

Please feel free to share!! Thank you for your donation in advance and for bringing awareness to this issue.

🚩Super IMPORTANT!!! 🚩
When donating you MUST put in the notes at the bottom “Upstate NY Billboard”!!🚩

Thank you all!!

Donate here:
https://www.learntherisk.org/donate/

Advertisement

The Heroes of a State in Distress

The last few days I have seen some of the strongest women come out and fight a battle with nothing but their words. When it comes to the protection of one’s child, the lioness comes out in all of us. (At least it should). I have been quiet because, for a while, it was very difficult to face the onslaught of ridicule as I continue to grieve. I would share my son’s story and people would say awful crushing things to me without skipping a beat. It’s the strength of those women I mentioned earlier who have brought me out of writing hibernation.

In the capital of Sacramento, CA warrior parents stood up to voice their opinion regarding one of the strictest laws in California history. You would think this would have something to do with the death penalty or with people breaking the law, but it was a direct blow to families. SB276 in layman’s terms will remove the right for physicians to grant children a medical exemption for vaccinations and will hand it over to the decision of the government.

Larry Cook Founder of Stop Mandatory Vaccination summarizes the law below:

CA SB276, in summary:
1. All medical exemptions will need to be approved by the California Department of Public Health (CDPH).
2. All medical exemption requests will need to be based on CDC contraindications only.
3. All medical exemption requests will need to be submitted via a standardized form created by the CDPH.
4. All approved medical exemptions will be included in a database accessible to the CDPH.
5. Any medical exemption written PRIOR to SB276 will also need to be approved by the CDPH and included in their database, by July 1, 2020.

As the mother of a child who suffered and ultimately died as a result of the 9 vaccines doses administered, it frightens me to see that California has yet to devise a plan to appoint which children should not be vaccinated. They said we need to protect the children who are immunocompromised and can’t be vaccinated, but how about the children who have suffered and died from their vaccinations? I guess we don’t count.

Governor Newsome was supposed to make amendments to the strict bill that Senator Pan shoved through the capital last week, but Pan simply stated that the governor agrees with him so there. Aside from sticking his tongue out and shouting Na-Na-Na-Na-Na-Na, he proceeded anyway. The governor has until Friday (9/13/19) to present the amendments.

Parents who have watched their (child)ren suffer or die after an adverse reaction to vaccines will no longer have the option to choose not to vaccinate from a medical perspective. They have seen their child regress into autism, seize on the floor, have 105-degree fevers, rashes, encephalitis, head-bang, scream uncontrollably for hours, anaphylaxis and for many of us had to lay them to rest. There is a reporting system for these symptoms called VAERS, which was put in place (by the government) to report these adverse reactions and deaths. There is a court (NVICP) implemented to review these cases (by the government). Because California discriminates against the unvaccinated child the final determination of whether a child can be vaccinated will be determined BY THE GOVERNMENT.

We need to all hold up our flags upside down to show there is a crisis and help is needed. The people of California are in distress and this siege of forced medical procedures is coming to your state. WE DO NOT CONSENT to be told what you can inject into our bodies and the bodies of our children. This isn’t a matter of public health-it’s fear-based discrimination against informed citizens who know the propaganda we are fed that vaccines are safe and effective is a lie.

We are a group of educated mothers and fathers who want what’s best for all of our children. The government does not have the right to stick their agenda inside me and call it healthy. Medical rape is happening so stand up and fight for something that matters. “YOU ARE NOT REPRESENTING AMERICA FOR ALL”.

Oh The Times They Are A-Changin’

 

 

 

 

 

NEW YORK RALLY & LOBBYING DAY FOR VACCINE INJURY & VACCINE RIGHTS: MAY 14, 2019-JOIN US!!

NEW YORK RALLY & LOBBYING DAY FOR VACCINE INJURY & VACCINE RIGHTS: MAY 14, 2019

S2994/A2371 eliminates the religious exemption from vaccine mandates to attend school in New York.

Office visits to legislators ‪9 AM – 5 PM‬ • Rally on the West Steps of the Capitol, ‪11 am‬ • State Street and Washington Avenue, Albany, NY 12224

Please join us for this critical event in Albany on May 14th to ensure our voices are heard. Our religious rights, parental rights and medical freedom will not be taken away by our government! We are excited to announce some of our speakers at the rally… and still more to come!! Stay tuned!!

*Sponsored by New York Alliance for Vaccine Rights

---

Please get on the phone and call your State Senator and Assemblymember and politely ask the staffer if the legislator has a position on the bill. And then follow up with an email after your calls, many staffers may not pass along all the pertinent info you shared by phone. Use email to recap your stance and refute any points brought to your attention on the call that is misinformation & not true. Emails are read by the reps and will help to shape their views on this.

Their names and numbers are below. And briefly explain what the religious exemption means to your family and why keeping it is essential.

Please get on the phone TODAY and call the following members of the Assembly Health Committee and politely ask the staffer if the Assemblymember has a position on the bill. And briefly explain why the religious exemption is so important to your family and why our rights should be retained & the impact it will have on you should this pass.

Richard Gottfried, Chair, (212) 807-7900
Amy Paulin: (914) 723-1115
Linda B. Rosenthal: (212) 873-6368
Nader J. Sayegh: (914) 779-8805
Robin Schimminger: (716) 873-2540
Michaelle C. Solages: (516) 599-2972
Phil Steck: (518) 377-0902
Edward C. Braunstein: (718) 357-3588
Kevin A. Cahill: (845) 338-9610
Steven Cymbrowitz: (718) 743-4078
Sandy Galef: (914) 941-1111
Aileen M. Gunther: (845) 794-5807 and (845) 342-9304
Andrew Hevesi: (718) 263-5595
Ellen Jaffee: (845) 624-4601
Ron Kim: (718) 939-0195
Jeffrey Dinowitz: (718) 796-5345
Rodneyse Bichotte: (718) 940-0428
Peter Byrne: (845) 278-2923
Charles Barron: (718) 257-5824
Marjorie Byrnes: (585) 218-0038
David McDonough: (516) 409-2070
Andrew Garbarino: ( 631) 589-0348
Thomas J. Abinanti: (914) 631-1605
Jake Ashby, (518) 272-6149
Ed Ra: (516) 535-4095
Andrew Raia: (631) 261-4151

The media-driven hysteria around the measles is pushing out a constant stream of fear and misinformation which unfortunately has the eyes and ears of NYS legislators and is influencing their stance on S2994/A2371, the bill to eliminate religious exemptions. The time is now to take action – before it’s too late.

When Real News Is Ignored

Image Retrieved from https://www.deviantart.com/altsy/art/Hear-No-Evil-See-No-Evil-Speak-No-Evil-322881372

Maybe you are able to ignore me, place me in a category of people you feel sorry for who have launched themselves off the deep end of your mind. I share my stories on Facebook of children who have died and/or have suffered extensive vaccine-related injury (My own son included). My posts might be equivalent to the children who are starving in Africa or the dogs who are so skinny you can see their ribs. My posts probably make you uneasy and you probably hope they are fake-news. Maybe you even think if you can’t see it then it doesn’t exist. The truth of the matter is, these children do exist and they are all around you.

The story that should be covered by every news channel has only been featured in two actual printed newspapers (that I can find)[The Journal in WV & Estacada in OR]. The U.S. Health & Human Services (HHS) Department has not done safety studies on vaccines for the past 32 years since the inclusion of the 1986 Vaccine Injury Compensation Act. It is their sole responsibility and legal obligation to have conducted and submitted these studies.

Image Retrieved from healthimpactnews.com

In case you were not aware this is the year when the vaccine schedule increased so drastically that children were often given 6 or more doses of vaccines at one visit. Before 1986 parents had the ability to hold the pharmaceutical companies and doctors legally responsible for their actions. This law protected those entities, so vaccine manufacturers started producing more and the CDC added even more to their schedule. Think about it, if citizens weren’t held accountable for their actions what kind of country would be living in? It would be even worse than it already is. Now the only way anyone is held accountable is by a governmentally-mandated vaccine injury court with government-appointed attorneys to take the cases. As if this wasn’t assinine in itself, now Robert F. Kennedy, Jr. and Del Bigtree have proven that HHS hasn’t completed one single safety study as was agreed upon by law. In other circumstances, this would be a watergate of epic proportions.

See below for the legal Stipulation submitted to the United States District Court Southern District of New York:

http://icandecide.org/government/ICAN-HHS-Stipulated-Order-July-2018.pdfhttps://drive.google.com/file/d/1gtnyW-RnL0GsGs7blLBgrqZ1CRMX8Nnz/view?usp=sharing

This is the response to that stipulation:

Image Retrieved from healthimpactnews.com

Are you truly okay with the fact that the vaccines you inject into your children have not had proper testing and safety studies? Can you live with the fact that your government is using our children as guinea pigs to satisfy the deep pockets of greed? All members of society no matter your political stance or opinion of vaccines should be up in arms about this. The failure of our government to protect our children is a direct infringement on their rights and the failure to conduct safety studies goes hand-in-hand with child endangerment, child abuse, and manslaughter. I think we should all open our eyes to the reality that is all around us. These are our children I am talking about.

I would Rather My Kid Have Autism Than Die from Measles

As a mother of a child who died from adverse reactions to a plethora of vaccines, I have come across all sorts of comments on social media regarding autism-related injury to vaccines. This is the one that has me most concerned. This statement comes from a place of fear presented to us by the CDC, engrained in our brains and once in mine asking the question, why on Earth would people choose not to protect their children from disease? “Surely, the CDC was implemented to find cures and vaccines to protect us from disease and death”.

In 1942, the CDC was created initially to help limit the spread of malaria during war-time. Our soldiers were fighting on foreign lands and contracting mosquito-borne strains of malaria until it consequently was deemed eradicated in 1951 within the USA. (cdc.gov, 2018).

Statistics from 2015, show that the CDC, which is currently a for-profit entity was gifted by its taxpayers $6.6 Billion dollars to continue its “life-saving” research. In 1983, pharmaceutical companies offered large monetary gifts (i.e. monies) to the CDC, which the government allowed. “In the fiscal year 2014, the CDC Foundation raised $52 million, $12 million of that from Big Pharma” (circleofdocs.com, 2018). This symbiotic relationship opened a doorway to the new onslaught of vaccines which forever mutated the vaccine schedule. Along with the law 42 U.S. Code § 300aa–22 – Standards of Responsibility Act passed in 1986. This was also known as The National Childhood Vaccine Injury Act of 1986. Shortly after, a government-mandated court system known as The Vaccine Injury Compensation Program (VICP) was established to hear those cases of vaccine-related injury and death.

Re-read the last paragraph. The CDC is a government-run division funded by your tax dollars and grandfathered in to receive limitless funding from pharmaceutical companies. I once worked for an allergy clinic as a transcriptionist and I remember on most Fridays there was always free food in the lunchroom. I look back on those days and now understand the bribery that went hand-in-hand with the samples of medications provided by the drug companies.

So, back to the reasoning behind the title of this blog. When I was a child I received single-shot doses of measles, mumps, and rubella, DTP, and the Polio Shot. At the same time, autism rates were 1 in 2000 children. Currently, children receive 72 doses of vaccines which contain adjuvants to preserve shelf-life and rapidly stimulate the immune system response and current autism rates are 1 in 59 children. (cdc.gov, 2018). I have heard the argument that maybe physicians are better adept to classify autism then they were back then. Well, that argument can’t be upheld since autism has been coined since 1908. We have to look at what’s happening in our environment and it is something that most everyone is experiencing. Is it so incredulous to believe that a schedule created by a government entity, influenced by pharmaceutical companies, and ultimately adhered to by all pediatric physicians might cause adverse reactions, neurological degradation, and death just to name a few “side effects.”

Image Retrieved: https://www.thehealthyhomeeconomist.com/cdc-adds-3-more-vax-to-childhood-immunization-schedule/

Take a look at the menu you are signing your child up for and ask yourself if you’re okay with injecting these toxins into your children. My son had 9 doses at his very last “wellness” visit, which ultimately took his life. I took care of my son when he banged his head on the floor screaming for hours, I embraced his need to thrash constantly because he had a sensory processing disorder and couldn’t be in a crowded store, I held him when he kicked me and slapped me, I drove him to bi-weekly speech therapy, prepared him with Early Intervention pre-K, tried every day to potty train him when he was 4, and ultimately had to bury him when he fell asleep and never woke up again.

I embraced my son under any condition as long as he was still alive, but vaccines caused this to begin with. The problem is…I didn’t know it until he was gone. I believed in following the schedule, I believed in vaccinating my child to prevent disease, I believed in my son’s pediatrician.

So for those who tell parents who don’t vaccinate their children you hope their children die from measles and that you would rather vaccinate and have autistic children, I wonder how you would feel about not having your child at all.

Do your own research, check out my resources, open your eyes, remove the rose-colored glasses, and come to the understanding that we are being lied to.

Resources:

About CDC 24-7. (2018, January 19). Retrieved July 06, 2018, from https://www.cdc.gov/about/history/index.html

 

Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD). (2018, April 26). Retrieved July 06, 2018, from https://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/autism/data.html

 

Is the CDC Sleeping With Drug Companies? You Decide… (2015, June 15). Retrieved July 6, 2018, from https://circleofdocs.com/is-the-cdc-is-sleeping-with-drug-companies-you-decide/

 

Helplessness Starts With a 4-Letter Word

“Mutual helplessness is the essential relation between parent and child.”
― Marty Rubin

Helpless is the only word I can think of to describe it. I have been converted back to a small child wailing, grasping at air, clawing for things I can’t comprehend…helpless. Four years I had the task of caring for my son and apparently, I am the only one who observed but didn’t really comprehend until now.

If a man took my son and shot him nine times on a busy city street would anyone stop to help him? I wonder with so many witnesses would an attorney lay claim in court to prove that my son had been murdered. Of course, there are teams of justice in-place for such things to remove criminals from our city streets and they are imprisoned for their crimes. Killers remove lives and the damage touches the souls of everyone that loved the one departed. Those teams of justice are supposed to give voice to those whose voices can no longer be heard.

I have spoken to 20 attorneys and no one will bear witness to the horrible crime that happened to my son. They ask for a smoking gun, a confession that reads: I injected this boy with 9 vaccines, which resulted in his death. Even the killer in the street wouldn’t confess his crime of guilty, why would a physician?

Helplessness is when the pharmaceutical companies receive complaints that their drugs are causing adverse reactions and death and the government says, hey here’s a get out of jail free card. We will make it so nobody can hold you accountable and these people can file a claim in an established governmentally-funded vaccine court. We might as well open a burger joint outside a cattle farm with an invitation that reads, welcome all vegans: all you can eat.

I had a dream, many dreams for my only child Johnathan. I never thought I would place his name on a stone next to mine before my demise. I wake up every day fighting tears from the helplessness of a reality I don’t want to exist in.  I’m not looking for money; I am looking for justice for a little boy whose voice was taken from him at a pediatrician’s office.

You can call me crazy, one of those crazy anti-vax people who plan on bringing down modern medicine with “fake-news” and pseudo-science. You can call me whatever the fuck you want, I just don’t care anymore. Take one look at your child and say to yourself, can I imagine the rest of my life without them in it? No, you can’t imagine, because that feeling of helplessness will never take hold unless that happens to you…I hope it never happens to you. I’ll tell you what I do believe in, accuracy and thorough scientific studies that prove 100% without a doubt that adjuvants within vaccines are truly safe and effective. I want to see a vaccine court that no longer exists because people no longer suffer injury and death, VAERS eradicated, children, living long lives free of autism and neurological deficits. Anything less than that isn’t acceptable in my eyes and I struggle to understand how this is crazy.

Ask questions, expand your beliefs, research, and most importantly; reach your own conclusions. The truth is, the world is a helpless place to live in and the crimes against humanity are very real.

 

Johnathan’s Journey

Click to Read: Johnathan’s Journey

Today, one year ago today, the world lost the most amazing little boy named Johnathan or as he aptly called himself, Sunshine.

A medical examination was conducted as to what took my sweet son’s life, but the cause was left as undetermined with no medical explanation. Well, I am the type of person who refused to accept a non-answer as an explanation for anything, especially when it came to the loss of my only son.

I have spent every moment since researching, speaking with others, and reading medical journals to find answers. This is Johnathan’s story and the hope I hold is that you learn from my loss to prevent your own. We all need to know what’s really being injected into our children through vaccines and also understand that the amount given at one time is unconscionable.

These are my findings, harrowing experiences as a grieving mother, and my advice regarding a topic that’s been considered taboo for way too long. Open your eyes to the knowledge that is right in front of you and save the future for our children.

 

Happy 5th Birthday In Heaven

Today, I was supposed to light 5 candles on your chocolate cake. You would look at me with a face full of frosting as your family and friends sang of another year older. That celebration of your life will never be made and instead, I light the candles of remembrance of a life taken away too soon.

The toys and the presents will remain unopened and the joyful cries of my son will never be heard. We will remember your laughter as a joyful memory that made everyone smile and recall the days of their own youth.

Why has the world chosen to move forward when the seconds of my life pass slowly without you by my side? I long for the moments of not having a minute to myself, of replacing batteries in your tank engines, making sure bubbles were added to your bath, and chocolate was added to your milk. I miss those moments when you would snuggle with me and tell me you love me. I would give my life to just see you run around the house breaking shit for just one day more.

Now the only thing that is left broken is my heart and without you, it will remain that way.

Happy Birthday to my son in Heaven. Mama loves you.

Will You Listen?

When a mother loses her only son, will you turn away from me and run?

Will the reality of how it happened make you uneasy?

I was promised he would be safe if I just listened to how things needed to be.

Did you stop to listen when we asked if 9 vaccines were safe, did you care to see?

He has allergies they confessed, dark circles are the reality of this.

You cannot say he died from this because a month did progress.

He had the strength of 15 men, he was fierce and strong, and relentless.

 

How did his strength and joy diminish, was it his time to relinquish?

How does a boy regress so quickly when all he did was love completely?

So tell me now that the shots you gave him, did not end a life so shortly antiquated.

I try and make sense of the story you gave me, that every child fits so perfectly into a mold of a schedule not tested, you took his life, you took our future.

Nobody is held accountable and I am left alone in this life so insurmountable.

You could have done them one at a time, instead, you killed him in his prime.

I’ll never see my son grow up, you took my love and life from me.

So stop and think next time they say that every child is built the same way.

 

 

 

“Thanks” and “Giving” Can Never Go Together Again

In a couple days we will sit down with our friends and families and spend hours preparing for a meal that only lasts 30 minutes. For some of us, we are preparing for a day that we are asked to feel thankful, but all we can feel is numb.

For a grieving parent a holiday is a preparation of emotions and trying to decide how emotionally stable we think we are going to be that day. We try to avoid certain triggers that will cause us to cry in a crowded room and we stow away to the restroom when the air gets too thick. It is a preemptive decision to dive into an occasion where we are reminded that our child is not with us, but should be.

This is my first “Thanks” “Giving” without Johnathan. I’m not really sure if I can be thankful this year because for me it’s the taking that took place and not the giving. I feel selfish when I find myself at a social gathering because while I try to smile, I die inside. I can engage in conversation, but my mind is always traveling to one location-back to a time and place when my son was here.

In my mind, I laugh at the amount of food on the table that I know my son would never eat. He would stick his tongue out at the turkey, pick at the stuffing, and take a stab at the cranberry because it’s sweet-tasting. He would walk away dissatisfied while expressing his disgust at all food Thanksgiving. It was only when the desserts came out that Johnathan expressed an interest in sitting at the table.  I will peer across the table this Thursday searching for that face and come up empty as I search to define why I am thankful.

How do we prepare ourselves for anything anymore? Is it wise to just avoid everything or rather should we embrace the future and pretend in our minds that somehow our child is there with us in spirit? Both of these choices sound bleak and disheartening, but I push forward carrying nothing but my memories of a boy who will always be 4.

So if you find yourself sitting at the dinner table this Thanksgiving with someone who has lost their child please mention their child’s name. Share with them a memory of their child that will help them make it through the upcoming holidays. The worst pain a grieving parent can feel has already happened, but after that, it’s the not mentioning that continues to fester the wound.

There might come a Thanksgiving where I can be thankful again, but this year I can’t put the words together, just know that I am trying.

What to Expect When You’re Expecting AND Vaccines

I remember when I became pregnant I read “What to Expect When You’re Expecting.” This book had many useful tips on the changes your body will go through, cravings, week-by-week growth, and one page on vaccinations. Of course, this book took the approach that vaccines for a pregnant woman and her growing baby are safe and effective. It does say that live viruses are not good for a pregnant woman, but that the Tdap, flu, and Hep-B are perfectly safe. The same goes for the Center for Disease Control (CDC) which states “The CDC wants you to know that vaccines are an important part of a healthy pregnancy. Certain diseases can be very serious for you and your developing baby during your pregnancy. Getting vaccines during your pregnancy can help protect you both and provide your newborn with some early disease protection.”(https://www.cdc.gov/vaccines/pregnancy/downloads/what-to-expect.pdf)

A recent study was featured on The Today Show headed by Dr. James Donahue an epidemiologist at the Marshfield Clinic in Wisconsin. Note this study was also funded by the CDC. It studied pregnant women who received the flu shot in combination with the H1N1 vaccine over the 2010-12 flu season. Results showed that 485 women had spontaneous miscarriages 1-28 days following that combination. “The overall aOR in the 28-day window was 2.0, or double the risk, but those findings, in contrast to the H1N1 subset, were not statistically significant. There was no association seen in any other exposure window.” They have decided to continue vaccinating pregnant women even after the evidence was profound that these vaccines caused “Double The Risk” of miscarriage and stillbirth. The CDC has decided to disregard the findings of this study and continue to administer the flu shot to pregnant women. The study is ongoing, however, it’s initial findings are evident, yet the CDC vaccinates.

My question to the CDC is why are you not holding off on killing children so that you can do further research on the connection between vaccines and pregnant women? Any other medication goes through strenuous testing and research trials, but vaccines have never been tested in combination with each other, nor has the entire vaccine schedule been tested as a whole. Why do scientists, health officials, and drug companies spend so much more on research regarding Viagara than it does on testing vaccines that are injected into pregnant women and children?

In September 2012 Dr. Gary Goldman released a study in the Human and Environmental Toxicology Journal (HET) “Reporting a 4,250 percent increase in the number of miscarriages and stillbirths reported to Vaccine Adverse Event Reporting System (VAERS) in the 2009/2010 flu season. For those not familiar with VAERS, this is a database setup for physicians and patients to report vaccine-related death and injuries. However, this data has to be skewed because only 10% of vaccine-related injury and fatalities are reported to VAERS, so the number should be higher.

If the CDC will not hold-off on vaccinating pregnant women until they complete their research, then we are all truly test subjects awaiting their results. We have not voluntarily signed up for this research and women should be appalled they are used in this manner. My advice to pregnant women is not to get vaccinated during pregnancy until the CDC can complete their studies and research and provide a definitive outcome. Don’t let your unborn baby be a statistic. If you want to improve your pregnancy, do so with diet, exercise, and avoidance of environmental toxins. Don’t let anyone else determine what is safe and effective for your baby when they haven’t even completed the research to be able to make that statement.

Resources:

Goldman, G. (2013). Comparison of VAERS fetal-loss reports during three consecutive influenza seasons: Was there a synergistic fetal toxicity associated with the two-vaccine 2009/2010 season? Human & Experimental Toxicology, 32(5), 464–475. http://doi.org/10.1177/0960327112455067

 

 

 

 

 

 

I’ll Save You

I’ve been having very vibrant dreams lately. They are filled with worry and they have one unifying theme…I am trying to save Johnathan.

I would always tell Johnathan that nothing bad could happen to him because mama would never let it. I would become this strong and fearless supermom if harm ever came his way. When people laughed at his helmet, I stared them down. When the first pediatric neurosurgeon wanted to cut his skull from ear-to-ear, I got a second opinion. When people stopped and stared when his behavior wasn’t “normal” I would hold him in my arms and tell him over and over how much I love him.

I never thought that doing the right thing could harm my son. I had always believed in the power of modern medicine and the benefits of vaccinations. Johnathan had every shot the CDC schedule recommended. I was listening to his doctors and adhering to the belief that they knew what was best for him.

On January 16, 2017, Johnathan went to his 4-year “wellness” visit where he received 9 vaccines at one time. On February 25, 2017, Johnathan suffered a Grand mal seizure and never woke up. After his shots, he was getting sick all the time at school. He continued to have fevers, clammy skin, and dark circles under his eyes. His behavior worsened and his progress he had made was rapidly regressing.

I can’t forgive myself for allowing the vaccines to take my son’s life. I will have to live every day with the knowledge that I gave permission for a doctor to poison my son’s immune system and brain. Some of you may experience that same guilt and as you know it tears you up every day. I see his face in a photograph and I want to scream at the top of my lungs that I had a choice. I hear his soft voice in a video and I want to tear my heart out because I thought I was doing the right thing.

Some people will tell you that it wasn’t your fault and that the doctor should have advised me of possible side effects. I now know that every aspect of your child’s health should be researched and scrutinized. Why didn’t I know this before?

For some of you reading this, you may have children who will be visiting their pediatrician for one of those “wellness” visits. I won’t tell you what to do or what not to do, but I urge you to do your own research. If you visit the resource page on this blog you will see many articles, videos, and testimonies regarding vaccinations and their harm to our children.

I can’t save my son, but my hope is that you’ll save yours.

Resources

Interview With the Vaxxed Team

 

I want to express how thankful I am to Polly and The Vaxxed Team for letting me tell Johnathan’s story. The work all of you do and the dedication to this cause shows in every story that would have otherwise been untold. You help grieving parents heal by providing them a platform to speak from their hearts.

We need to stop this injustice that’s harming and killing our children around the world. We need to join together and stand up for the littles ones who can’t tell their stories.

We need to ask the tough questions and we need to demand answers. What are you injecting into our children?

The Road Ahead

“Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—

I took the one less traveled by.”~Robert Frost

This life didn’t turn out the way I intended. It seems I have been battling a war my entire adult life. The loss of my son is the most tragic example of a life with intentions not met. I will never see my son graduate high-school, wait for his beautiful bride at the end of the aisle, lovingly hold his children, or have him hold my hand as I leave this Earth (physically of course). I can’t change what has happened and that is the most difficult realization.

Every morning when I wake up a great sadness enters my thoughts as I remind myself again that it was not all a terrible dream. I get ready for my day of pretending that I am okay and that I can handle anything. I do it well as I walk into work and focus on the task at hand. Nobody knows but me that my mind is consumed with thoughts of my son. I see his face in every one I meet and I hear his voice in every song I hear. How am I doing people ask, and I reply that I am fine and doing better every day. This is a line I have taught myself to speak on command in order to keep my job and live this “life”.

I do find happiness in signs from Johnathan and his constant ethereal presence in my life keeps me going. We hold conversations in my heart where he placed himself when he left this world. He leaves me feathers in the cemetery, pennies in the treadmill at the gym, heart-shaped stones, and the color yellow decorates this world in a way I never noticed before. He speaks to me through others reminding me to be happy and that he is always with me.

Ever since Johnathan was born I had this plan that no matter what happens in life as long as I had him life held meaning and purpose. I used to say that no matter how many failed relationships I had, having my little boy with me was all that I needed because he would never leave me. Not once did the thought of him leaving before me ever enter my mind. Until it happens, a parent has no idea nor can they fathom the reality of the greatest loss ever experienced.

I had to accept that my son was no longer with me in the physical since and that I can’t bring him back to life. I had to choose the road less traveled and it was no longer optional. I had to push forward on that road even though many times I was crawling and bleeding on the path. How does one build on a future when they only live in the past? I have no answers.

The only way I know how to push ahead is to hold onto my faith in God and to let him carry me down this road when I am just about to give up. I am a warrior who uses knowledge as her weapons and love as her shield. All I have are the words in my heart and I will keep sharing them to keep my son alive.

“Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—I took the one less traveled”…

Mother of Johnathan~Forever 4~

I Am Not Anti-Vaccination…BUT

If you search the internet you will find people on both sides of the vaccine debate. There are those who believe in following the strict CDC schedule of vaccinations and there are the 1% of the U.S. population who don’t vaccinate at all. I find myself teetering between the two extremes.

I would like to focus on vaccinations children receive from birth through 6 years old. This is perhaps the most delicate time of childhood development when a child is not immune to the deadly diseases that exist in this world. The premise of immunizations is that the antigen is injected into the body in order to help the body’s immune system recognize the foreign material. In a healthy immune system, the body can recognize that a foreign antibody has been let loose and the body fights off the threat.

So, what happens when a child has preexisting neurological conditions or a weakened immune system to begin with? I would like to use my son Johnathan as an example and I warn you it’s a graphic explanation. My son was born with brain anomalies which roughly translates into brain misfires. He had a sensory disorder and his brain could not fully fathom and comprehend loud noises, crowds, pain, social interaction, and other relatively normal every-day occurrences for you and I. There were times I would find my son unable to express himself verbally so he would bang his head on the floor. The only way that I could console him was to hold him tightly and tell him I love you until he calmed down. Johnathan had delays early on with fine motor skills, then speech, and most recently physical.

Children who suffer from neurological conditions like this have unique brains. Our brains have their own immune system and most of the time the cells that fight off infections to the brain remain dormant until they are under attack. In children like Johnathan these cells are not always dormant and can be active even during times of “healthiness”. The study of multiple vaccinations on children with preexisting neurological disorders is limited. Dr. Russell Blaylock has published quite a few articles on the effects of vaccinations on children through the eyes of a neurologist. You can read several of his articles within my resource page. At this point in time, children are not screened or assessed for their receptivity of multiple vaccinations within the widely followed Center for Disease Control’s Vaccination schedule.

I don’t fully blame the pediatricians because they are following the advice of their superiors, their universities, and supposed research completed by a government-funded entity backed by trillion dollar pharmaceutical companies. Doctors need to take a closer look at recognizing preexisting conditions which may impede the effectiveness of vaccinations or even cause further neurological damage or untimely death.

The few weeks before I lost my son he was seen at his pediatrician for his 4-Year wellness visit. He received the MMR, DTAP, and the flu shot simultaneously. The MMR contains three antigens for Measles, Mumps, and Rubella. These are three live antigens in one booster shot. The DTAP contains antigens diphtheria, tetanus, and whooping cough and is a dead vaccine. The flu shot is a single-shot dead antigen. After the MMR live shot was injected the antigens traveled to my son’s brain and there his brain wrestled the imposing threat. Along with the antigens, vaccinations contain additives to prolong the receptivity of the shot which the body would not normally come into contact with. These foreign substances release into the blood stream and the brain resulting in free radicals that wreak havoc throughout the body.

A few days later Johnathan developed a fever of 103 degrees. I was able to give him liquid Tylenol and cool compresses which relieved his fever. Other than his fever I didn’t notice any other signs or symptoms that were out of the ordinary. The night before Johnathan passed away he didn’t appear tired and he had tons of energy. He didn’t complain of pain and maintained a smile on his face.

He laid down on February 25, 2017 for a nap, had a grand mal seizure, and never awoke again. Upon the completion of his medical examination it was found that he had a bacterial infection within his brain and he tested positive for several fillers that vaccinations contain to increase shelf life. The examination resulted in an undetermined COD by an undetermined factor.

I am not a doctor. I am a mother with a Master’s Degree in Information Technology and I have been researching every night since my son died. I am not the type of person who will accept undetermined as an acceptable reason for my son’s passing. I refuse to let this go as I don’t want anybody else to lose their babies. Parents need to recognize the importance of single shot doses with a period of at least one month between shots. Pediatricians need to follow their instinct and not administer 7 vaccines at once because a child is on Medicaid or Child Health Plus. The bottom line is not a financial figure when it comes to the safety and lives of our children. Spread the word to everyone you know, I am not anti-vaccine…I AM FOR ONE SHOT AT A TIME.

 

**I have to make a side note to this story because I learned my son had more than seven shots, he had nine. I have his shot record in hand and I have to add 1 Polio shot and 1 Varicella shot. I am disgusted to learn it was more than I originally thought.

Our Great Loss-February 25, 2017

On this day I lost the love of my life. My son Johnathan will forever be 4-years-old. On the evening of February 25, 2017 he laid down for a nap and never awoke. He closed his eyes and I held in my arms unaware of the damage that had been going on inside him. I have created this page not only in his memory, but also to share with you the journey of Johnathan’s life. It is my hope that you will use the resources I provide to make an educated choice regarding a safe vaccination schedule for your own children.

I pray that no other families will suffer as we have from the loss of their child. This atrocity could have been prevented had I known that the CDC vaccination schedule is only recommended and does not have to be adhered to. If I had known that administering seven shots during one doctors visit could have caused this, I would not be writing this blog. Instead, I would be holding my little boy.

This is Johnathan’s Journey.

Dear Governor Newsom:

We thought you cared about children and their future…we have determined by your quick passing & signing of SB276 and SB714 that was a lie.

 

I Am Still A Mother

My heart still beats for love of him although he’s left this place.

Mind replay moments of his life, new memories leave no trace.

I reach for him during rest thinking it has all been a bad dream,

But when my waking thoughts come back I realize and scream.

 

I sang him songs within the womb and four years followed suit,

Twinkle-Twinkle, ABC’s, You Are My Sunshine sung in tune.

The music has left my voice and hollow sounds lament,

I now sing songs of silence to the life that you should have.

 

My arms have never felt so empty and so heavy all at once.

I embrace the day you blessed my life as God welcomed me a son.

I mourn the day God took you home and left me without one.

 

I am still your mother dear no matter how far you may be.

The only difference now my love, is now you watch over me.

SUDC Fundraiser-Johnathan’s Journey

Click Here To Support SUDC

 

Please buy a t-shirt today to help raise money for the SUDC Foundation on behalf of Johnathan.

The SUDC Foundation is a registered 501(c)(3), that provides no-cost services to families and professionals affected by the sudden and unexpected death of a child 12 months and older. It is tasked with providing a centralized resource for information, support, and advocacy. And it serves families and professionals affected by the tragedy of SUDC and promotes awareness of SUDC in communities worldwide. https://sudc.org/

On February 25, 2017, my only son, Johnathan, fell asleep and never woke up. His death was listed as undetermined and the examiner found no cause. I found SUDC and they provided hope by offering to do further research on my son’s DNA and to look further into what took my 4-year-old son’s life. Furthermore, they did it at no cost. The SUDC Foundation has connected me to a group of mothers and fathers who understand that the loss of a child is a life-long journey and one no parent should have to walk alone. This is Johnathan’s Journey…