Fundraiser For Johnathan’s Billboard

Please consider a donation to Learn The Risk for a billboard featuring my son Johnathan Wurz. It will be placed in Syracuse, NY. I have been working with some beautiful people who are assisting in making this a reality. Although the final billboard has not been designed, it will look something like this. It’s being designed and implemented with the help of Brandy Vaughan from Learn The Risk and many other angels in our community.

This is the proof from a banner NYVAR and those wonderful people I previously mentioned are placing on Route 81 on a haywagon at the end of the month. I will provide the exact location details when I receive them.

Please feel free to share!! Thank you for your donation in advance and for bringing awareness to this issue.

🚩Super IMPORTANT!!! 🚩
When donating you MUST put in the notes at the bottom “Upstate NY Billboard”!!🚩

Thank you all!!

Donate here:
https://www.learntherisk.org/donate/

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When Real News Is Ignored

Image Retrieved from https://www.deviantart.com/altsy/art/Hear-No-Evil-See-No-Evil-Speak-No-Evil-322881372

Maybe you are able to ignore me, place me in a category of people you feel sorry for who have launched themselves off the deep end of your mind. I share my stories on Facebook of children who have died and/or have suffered extensive vaccine-related injury (My own son included). My posts might be equivalent to the children who are starving in Africa or the dogs who are so skinny you can see their ribs. My posts probably make you uneasy and you probably hope they are fake-news. Maybe you even think if you can’t see it then it doesn’t exist. The truth of the matter is, these children do exist and they are all around you.

The story that should be covered by every news channel has only been featured in two actual printed newspapers (that I can find)[The Journal in WV & Estacada in OR]. The U.S. Health & Human Services (HHS) Department has not done safety studies on vaccines for the past 32 years since the inclusion of the 1986 Vaccine Injury Compensation Act. It is their sole responsibility and legal obligation to have conducted and submitted these studies.

Image Retrieved from healthimpactnews.com

In case you were not aware this is the year when the vaccine schedule increased so drastically that children were often given 6 or more doses of vaccines at one visit. Before 1986 parents had the ability to hold the pharmaceutical companies and doctors legally responsible for their actions. This law protected those entities, so vaccine manufacturers started producing more and the CDC added even more to their schedule. Think about it, if citizens weren’t held accountable for their actions what kind of country would be living in? It would be even worse than it already is. Now the only way anyone is held accountable is by a governmentally-mandated vaccine injury court with government-appointed attorneys to take the cases. As if this wasn’t assinine in itself, now Robert F. Kennedy, Jr. and Del Bigtree have proven that HHS hasn’t completed one single safety study as was agreed upon by law. In other circumstances, this would be a watergate of epic proportions.

See below for the legal Stipulation submitted to the United States District Court Southern District of New York:

http://icandecide.org/government/ICAN-HHS-Stipulated-Order-July-2018.pdfhttps://drive.google.com/file/d/1gtnyW-RnL0GsGs7blLBgrqZ1CRMX8Nnz/view?usp=sharing

This is the response to that stipulation:

Image Retrieved from healthimpactnews.com

Are you truly okay with the fact that the vaccines you inject into your children have not had proper testing and safety studies? Can you live with the fact that your government is using our children as guinea pigs to satisfy the deep pockets of greed? All members of society no matter your political stance or opinion of vaccines should be up in arms about this. The failure of our government to protect our children is a direct infringement on their rights and the failure to conduct safety studies goes hand-in-hand with child endangerment, child abuse, and manslaughter. I think we should all open our eyes to the reality that is all around us. These are our children I am talking about.

Helplessness Starts With a 4-Letter Word

“Mutual helplessness is the essential relation between parent and child.”
― Marty Rubin

Helpless is the only word I can think of to describe it. I have been converted back to a small child wailing, grasping at air, clawing for things I can’t comprehend…helpless. Four years I had the task of caring for my son and apparently, I am the only one who observed but didn’t really comprehend until now.

If a man took my son and shot him nine times on a busy city street would anyone stop to help him? I wonder with so many witnesses would an attorney lay claim in court to prove that my son had been murdered. Of course, there are teams of justice in-place for such things to remove criminals from our city streets and they are imprisoned for their crimes. Killers remove lives and the damage touches the souls of everyone that loved the one departed. Those teams of justice are supposed to give voice to those whose voices can no longer be heard.

I have spoken to 20 attorneys and no one will bear witness to the horrible crime that happened to my son. They ask for a smoking gun, a confession that reads: I injected this boy with 9 vaccines, which resulted in his death. Even the killer in the street wouldn’t confess his crime of guilty, why would a physician?

Helplessness is when the pharmaceutical companies receive complaints that their drugs are causing adverse reactions and death and the government says, hey here’s a get out of jail free card. We will make it so nobody can hold you accountable and these people can file a claim in an established governmentally-funded vaccine court. We might as well open a burger joint outside a cattle farm with an invitation that reads, welcome all vegans: all you can eat.

I had a dream, many dreams for my only child Johnathan. I never thought I would place his name on a stone next to mine before my demise. I wake up every day fighting tears from the helplessness of a reality I don’t want to exist in.  I’m not looking for money; I am looking for justice for a little boy whose voice was taken from him at a pediatrician’s office.

You can call me crazy, one of those crazy anti-vax people who plan on bringing down modern medicine with “fake-news” and pseudo-science. You can call me whatever the fuck you want, I just don’t care anymore. Take one look at your child and say to yourself, can I imagine the rest of my life without them in it? No, you can’t imagine, because that feeling of helplessness will never take hold unless that happens to you…I hope it never happens to you. I’ll tell you what I do believe in, accuracy and thorough scientific studies that prove 100% without a doubt that adjuvants within vaccines are truly safe and effective. I want to see a vaccine court that no longer exists because people no longer suffer injury and death, VAERS eradicated, children, living long lives free of autism and neurological deficits. Anything less than that isn’t acceptable in my eyes and I struggle to understand how this is crazy.

Ask questions, expand your beliefs, research, and most importantly; reach your own conclusions. The truth is, the world is a helpless place to live in and the crimes against humanity are very real.

 

Johnathan’s Journey

Click to Read: Johnathan’s Journey

Today, one year ago today, the world lost the most amazing little boy named Johnathan or as he aptly called himself, Sunshine.

A medical examination was conducted as to what took my sweet son’s life, but the cause was left as undetermined with no medical explanation. Well, I am the type of person who refused to accept a non-answer as an explanation for anything, especially when it came to the loss of my only son.

I have spent every moment since researching, speaking with others, and reading medical journals to find answers. This is Johnathan’s story and the hope I hold is that you learn from my loss to prevent your own. We all need to know what’s really being injected into our children through vaccines and also understand that the amount given at one time is unconscionable.

These are my findings, harrowing experiences as a grieving mother, and my advice regarding a topic that’s been considered taboo for way too long. Open your eyes to the knowledge that is right in front of you and save the future for our children.

 

Happy 5th Birthday In Heaven

Today, I was supposed to light 5 candles on your chocolate cake. You would look at me with a face full of frosting as your family and friends sang of another year older. That celebration of your life will never be made and instead, I light the candles of remembrance of a life taken away too soon.

The toys and the presents will remain unopened and the joyful cries of my son will never be heard. We will remember your laughter as a joyful memory that made everyone smile and recall the days of their own youth.

Why has the world chosen to move forward when the seconds of my life pass slowly without you by my side? I long for the moments of not having a minute to myself, of replacing batteries in your tank engines, making sure bubbles were added to your bath, and chocolate was added to your milk. I miss those moments when you would snuggle with me and tell me you love me. I would give my life to just see you run around the house breaking shit for just one day more.

Now the only thing that is left broken is my heart and without you, it will remain that way.

Happy Birthday to my son in Heaven. Mama loves you.

Will You Listen?

When a mother loses her only son, will you turn away from me and run?

Will the reality of how it happened make you uneasy?

I was promised he would be safe if I just listened to how things needed to be.

Did you stop to listen when we asked if 9 vaccines were safe, did you care to see?

He has allergies they confessed, dark circles are the reality of this.

You cannot say he died from this because a month did progress.

He had the strength of 15 men, he was fierce and strong, and relentless.

 

How did his strength and joy diminish, was it his time to relinquish?

How does a boy regress so quickly when all he did was love completely?

So tell me now that the shots you gave him, did not end a life so shortly antiquated.

I try and make sense of the story you gave me, that every child fits so perfectly into a mold of a schedule not tested, you took his life, you took our future.

Nobody is held accountable and I am left alone in this life so insurmountable.

You could have done them one at a time, instead, you killed him in his prime.

I’ll never see my son grow up, you took my love and life from me.

So stop and think next time they say that every child is built the same way.

 

 

 

“Thanks” and “Giving” Can Never Go Together Again

In a couple days we will sit down with our friends and families and spend hours preparing for a meal that only lasts 30 minutes. For some of us, we are preparing for a day that we are asked to feel thankful, but all we can feel is numb.

For a grieving parent a holiday is a preparation of emotions and trying to decide how emotionally stable we think we are going to be that day. We try to avoid certain triggers that will cause us to cry in a crowded room and we stow away to the restroom when the air gets too thick. It is a preemptive decision to dive into an occasion where we are reminded that our child is not with us, but should be.

This is my first “Thanks” “Giving” without Johnathan. I’m not really sure if I can be thankful this year because for me it’s the taking that took place and not the giving. I feel selfish when I find myself at a social gathering because while I try to smile, I die inside. I can engage in conversation, but my mind is always traveling to one location-back to a time and place when my son was here.

In my mind, I laugh at the amount of food on the table that I know my son would never eat. He would stick his tongue out at the turkey, pick at the stuffing, and take a stab at the cranberry because it’s sweet-tasting. He would walk away dissatisfied while expressing his disgust at all food Thanksgiving. It was only when the desserts came out that Johnathan expressed an interest in sitting at the table.  I will peer across the table this Thursday searching for that face and come up empty as I search to define why I am thankful.

How do we prepare ourselves for anything anymore? Is it wise to just avoid everything or rather should we embrace the future and pretend in our minds that somehow our child is there with us in spirit? Both of these choices sound bleak and disheartening, but I push forward carrying nothing but my memories of a boy who will always be 4.

So if you find yourself sitting at the dinner table this Thanksgiving with someone who has lost their child please mention their child’s name. Share with them a memory of their child that will help them make it through the upcoming holidays. The worst pain a grieving parent can feel has already happened, but after that, it’s the not mentioning that continues to fester the wound.

There might come a Thanksgiving where I can be thankful again, but this year I can’t put the words together, just know that I am trying.

I’ll Save You

I’ve been having very vibrant dreams lately. They are filled with worry and they have one unifying theme…I am trying to save Johnathan.

I would always tell Johnathan that nothing bad could happen to him because mama would never let it. I would become this strong and fearless supermom if harm ever came his way. When people laughed at his helmet, I stared them down. When the first pediatric neurosurgeon wanted to cut his skull from ear-to-ear, I got a second opinion. When people stopped and stared when his behavior wasn’t “normal” I would hold him in my arms and tell him over and over how much I love him.

I never thought that doing the right thing could harm my son. I had always believed in the power of modern medicine and the benefits of vaccinations. Johnathan had every shot the CDC schedule recommended. I was listening to his doctors and adhering to the belief that they knew what was best for him.

On January 16, 2017, Johnathan went to his 4-year “wellness” visit where he received 9 vaccines at one time. On February 25, 2017, Johnathan suffered a Grand mal seizure and never woke up. After his shots, he was getting sick all the time at school. He continued to have fevers, clammy skin, and dark circles under his eyes. His behavior worsened and his progress he had made was rapidly regressing.

I can’t forgive myself for allowing the vaccines to take my son’s life. I will have to live every day with the knowledge that I gave permission for a doctor to poison my son’s immune system and brain. Some of you may experience that same guilt and as you know it tears you up every day. I see his face in a photograph and I want to scream at the top of my lungs that I had a choice. I hear his soft voice in a video and I want to tear my heart out because I thought I was doing the right thing.

Some people will tell you that it wasn’t your fault and that the doctor should have advised me of possible side effects. I now know that every aspect of your child’s health should be researched and scrutinized. Why didn’t I know this before?

For some of you reading this, you may have children who will be visiting their pediatrician for one of those “wellness” visits. I won’t tell you what to do or what not to do, but I urge you to do your own research. If you visit the resource page on this blog you will see many articles, videos, and testimonies regarding vaccinations and their harm to our children.

I can’t save my son, but my hope is that you’ll save yours.

Resources

Interview With the Vaxxed Team

 

I want to express how thankful I am to Polly and The Vaxxed Team for letting me tell Johnathan’s story. The work all of you do and the dedication to this cause shows in every story that would have otherwise been untold. You help grieving parents heal by providing them a platform to speak from their hearts.

We need to stop this injustice that’s harming and killing our children around the world. We need to join together and stand up for the littles ones who can’t tell their stories.

We need to ask the tough questions and we need to demand answers. What are you injecting into our children?

The Road Ahead

“Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—

I took the one less traveled by.”~Robert Frost

This life didn’t turn out the way I intended. It seems I have been battling a war my entire adult life. The loss of my son is the most tragic example of a life with intentions not met. I will never see my son graduate high-school, wait for his beautiful bride at the end of the aisle, lovingly hold his children, or have him hold my hand as I leave this Earth (physically of course). I can’t change what has happened and that is the most difficult realization.

Every morning when I wake up a great sadness enters my thoughts as I remind myself again that it was not all a terrible dream. I get ready for my day of pretending that I am okay and that I can handle anything. I do it well as I walk into work and focus on the task at hand. Nobody knows but me that my mind is consumed with thoughts of my son. I see his face in every one I meet and I hear his voice in every song I hear. How am I doing people ask, and I reply that I am fine and doing better every day. This is a line I have taught myself to speak on command in order to keep my job and live this “life”.

I do find happiness in signs from Johnathan and his constant ethereal presence in my life keeps me going. We hold conversations in my heart where he placed himself when he left this world. He leaves me feathers in the cemetery, pennies in the treadmill at the gym, heart-shaped stones, and the color yellow decorates this world in a way I never noticed before. He speaks to me through others reminding me to be happy and that he is always with me.

Ever since Johnathan was born I had this plan that no matter what happens in life as long as I had him life held meaning and purpose. I used to say that no matter how many failed relationships I had, having my little boy with me was all that I needed because he would never leave me. Not once did the thought of him leaving before me ever enter my mind. Until it happens, a parent has no idea nor can they fathom the reality of the greatest loss ever experienced.

I had to accept that my son was no longer with me in the physical since and that I can’t bring him back to life. I had to choose the road less traveled and it was no longer optional. I had to push forward on that road even though many times I was crawling and bleeding on the path. How does one build on a future when they only live in the past? I have no answers.

The only way I know how to push ahead is to hold onto my faith in God and to let him carry me down this road when I am just about to give up. I am a warrior who uses knowledge as her weapons and love as her shield. All I have are the words in my heart and I will keep sharing them to keep my son alive.

“Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—I took the one less traveled”…

Mother of Johnathan~Forever 4~